Once upon a time, there was a man named Nickolas Febron. We’ll just call him Nick. Nick was born in the late 1800′s and was highly influenced by the big forming companies, like Carnegie Steel, Rockefeller Petroleum, and Sears. He decided that as he got older that he would be just like them and become a huge member of business. He would build and tinker and draw up schematics and designs for all his ideas. One could say that he was quite a genius.

Jolly old Saint Nickolas

Nick, unlike many other member in the world of economics didn’t care about the money he was making, as long as he had business, he was always jolly as long as he had something to do. That meant to him, competition was all about getting people just to walk out with your stuff. Nick’s prices got so low that he soon was spending his own money to keep his company afloat and had to lay off many of his workers that quickly got picked up by the competition for all the mad skillz they learned from working with and for Nick. Nick got less business, but he didn’t really notice since he was working so hard to keep up with the demand of his products. Nick made everything from toys, to house hold appliances, to even cars. Nick was nearly breaking even with all his costs and expenses with how much he made in profit. But soon other companies found how to make things at cheaper costs equivalent to Nick and were soon competing with him with the little amount of customers he had left. Nick then decided that he would under cut everyone to a price no one could match out of fear of going out of business. This made Nick lose a lot of his machines for business, but earned him the name Saint Nick from allowing even the poorest of poor to have some of life’s luxuries.

The Other Underground Railroad

This sadly put Nick exactly where everyone wanted him, out of business… Or so they thought. Nick was a master at about everything he put his hands to, this included thievery as well. Nick be came an outlaw that was very famous, but never considered real in the history books. He became known as the Shadow. Because he would steal from trains and companies without leaving a trace behind, and at most it would look like someone made a mistake in shipping, or in calculations of how much steel or fuel was produced. Nick shot back into business through these means and was able to have even lower prices since all he had to pay for was the building to produce whatever he needed to sell. Soon many people were having cars and house hold appliances, and companies felt that they were dishing out a good amount and thought that they should produce more.

The Depression

This sadly turned into a time known as the Great Depression. Companies started to take out loans to mass produce appliances and vehicles seeing on how popular they were in the north east where Nick was and that it should be like that in all of America. Soon car lots and appliance stores were jam packed through out the US of A, and people were taking out loans to have these luxuries. What people didn’t know was that Nick was giving out his for practically free, and that there was actually no money in the banks, and that even though it looked like everyone was in the money, there really wasn’t any anywhere. Companies soon had to lay off workers from the lack of sales, and the banks had no flow of money in from all the loans they had given out that people weren’t able to pay back, and those few that weren’t in debt but lost their jobs could not pull out money from their saving because of banks closing from having no money. Soon there was no work, and even Nick had to close down since there was nothing able to keep him in business. Nick soon learned what had happened with how his prices in competing with other companies drove the economy into the ground and he blamed himself and then traveled the country making tools for people looking for work on farms and he tried his best to help people find work. After a decade and a few years, Japan attacked pearl harbor.

Life on the run

With the attack on pearl harbor, Nick felt that he was to blame and that Japan was attacking because of how bad the economy had gotten world wide. Nick quickly went to Europe after hearing of Hitler in hopes of turning himself in. As Nick was traveling, he thought to himself that if he provided basic essentials and things that would just help people make it through life everyday without mass producing like before, that he could help stimulate the economy by allowing people to have more money to spend on other things than the basic standard of living. On his arrival in Europe, he met some scientist and decided to share with them his research on energy from splitting atoms, and showing them that energy could be made much cheaper, and that it might help stimulate the economy using this idea. Those scientist gladly took the research seeing how it could be turned into a weapon that could end the war without even thinking about applying it to what Nick had mentioned. They ran off to America to get support from the government in hopes of ending the war. Nick on the other hand finally found Hitler and decided to apologize for ruining the economy and was hoping in trading in his life that the war would end. Hitler laughed at Nick and told him that he should probably get out of Europe do to the war and since he liked his sense of humor that he should take care of himself and that Nick had nothing to worry about since he wasn’t a Jew, cripple, Gypsy, or any other group despised by Hitler. Hitler also added in that he liked how Nick had rosy cheeks (Hitler was a very odd charismatic man…). Nick quickly ran off confused about what was what and headed north to the north pole since he felt that the war would take over everywhere but there.

The Elf Enslavement, and Beyond

In the north pole, Nick ran into a new species that no one had discovered yet. He was fascinated with how the culture worked, and did much research on them and was impressed with their technology. He saw that they would fight countless wars with each other, and that the losers would be turned into slaves of the winners, and that the slaves got along better with other slave tribes than the remaining tribes got along with each other. He called these new creatures Elves (plural form of ELF [Engineering Little Freaks], he was thinking about calling them dwarfs or midgets but felt that those names might have been politically incorrect, and that since Orlando Bloom stereotype of elf hadn’t been invented yet [since Bloom had not even been born yet] that it was a perfectly acceptable name, some later felt that goblins or gnomes would have been a better name, but Santa will not go back on his naming convention.). He decided that the best way to get labor for his plans to better the world economy would probably be solved with conquering the elves. So with the limited resources he had, and the grand amount of designs he had saved, he declared war on the elves. The war was a long and hard one, lasting many months, and ending around the same time as WWII. Many elves were killed during the war with Nick, but Nick and the remaining elves that became his slaves quickly learned how to understand each other and they quickly dug into the untapped resources under the north pole and developed Nick’s workshop where the elves continue to work till this day (many attempts at people trying to get Nick on illegal labor have had trouble pressing charges since elves are not people and Nick’s workshop is a clean safe working environment [so the parts they've inspected...], but these charges has driven Nick to move his shop underground along with the people trying to steal his designs and ideas from satellite imagining). Nick found that if he used the earth electrical field with his energy plans that he could develop a way to levitate and travel at almost the speed of light in his sleigh that he was using to get around the north pole. Using this he would load up the back of his sleigh with goods to deliver around the world. Using deer he found he could balance the weight and that the fur would make musical noise like bells at the speeds that they traveled. Nick also took into consideration his timing for deliveries, that it would be best on December 25th because of the cold months of the early new year, and that tax day was April 15th in the US of A (where all the trouble by him started) and it would be best if he gave people a good amount of time to get their new things fitted into their lives by then, and would be able to use their tax deductions on things better than life basics. Many children try to write Saint Nick a year, and many people try to steal his inventions. Only very few post men know how to reach him, and Nick quickly stopped visiting certain neighborhoods do to the government working on catching him to use more of his ideas for war (like atom splitting), and because many families have grown upset with him spoiling their kids. Companies have also been after Santa for copyright infringement, in mimicking their designs for different toys that children want but could never afford.

Today…

Whether or not you or your family believe in Santa, he still tries his best to stimulate the economy and help provide comfort to the majority of the world not after him or his ideas. Also, he has grown tired of many people mistaking his workshop for an evil lair and asks that during this frightful time of global warming and the polar ice caps melting that people take no notice if any of it sticks up above the ice. Just remember, Santa’s always watching who’s naughty or nice, just like the US government was tapping phones and breaking privacy laws =3.

Summer Be Shorter – Due to the recession, summer has been stolen by the government to force students back in school. This ‘school’ forces these students to buy paper, pens, and other school supplies putting more money into the circulation hopefully increasing the economy and do to increase in demand, companies will be forced to expand increasing job opportunities.

Happy Holidays – Christmas is now going to be celebrated 4 times a year, every 3 months.

Be Thankful Please – Thanksgiving twice a year.  All followed by super discount Friday.

Birthday Parties – birthday celebrations will be required on quarter birthdays, half birthdays, three quarter birthdays, and finally on the full birthday. The spending of these events hopes to give companies more money in order to open up more job positions and improve the economy.

Rich Car Tax – The rich are now required to buy 1+ new cars a year, and they will be taxed on their cars over 5 years of age unless sold, donated, or given to a lower class in society.

Vacation Required – Families are now also required to go on ‘cool’ vacations during breaks, increasing job demand on hot vacation spots.  Ways to avoid having to go on vacations during summer is to have kids and sent them to summer camp, or sports camp.

Divorce will now require that 50% of the value of the couple’s estate and finances be spent on a party to celebrate their new found availability, and the other 50% to be divide among them however it should be.

Clowns, magicians, or other types of entertainment are now required at every party.  A moon bounce is also now required.

No child left behind – now known as “Child, you better not fall behind.”  For every failing grade a child gets in school, they will be required to higher a tutor, thus providing more work for the educated having trouble finding a job in this tough economy.

Fat Tax – All unhealthy foods shall now be heavily taxed.  How heavy you ask?  The same rate as the obesity rate in America, about 65%.  With this, we hope the costs of medical issues will also go down.  Also, as people grow healthier, the tax shall lower.  (Dollar menu shall be no more D= )

Healthy Tax Deduction – All healthy foods are now accepted as a tax deduction, limited though based off the number of dependents and such.

Marriage – Is now required by the age of 25.  Celebrations required.  If you cannot find one, the government will find you an ideal match based off out calculations of your interests, like eharmony or match would use.  Also, all married couples shall now be required to buy a new home at low interests rates long term payments.  New Housing = More work = Better economy.

News Papers Tax Deductable – Due to the ‘internet’ newspaper sales have gone down the drain because of the information being free online.  This also ruins the paper business due to new ‘paperless’ options.  Thus, buying news papers will now be tax deductable.

Holey Socks Trade In – Used holey socks are now allowed to be traded in when purchasing new socks for a discount on the new socks.  Must be same brand or higher costing.

Right To Bear Arms – Guns now tax deductable!  Bullets heavily taxed xP.  Or maybe that should be the other way around o.o;;.

American made products – American Made T.V’s, American made ramen noodles o.o;;, American made anime dork candies lol…  AMERICAN COMPUTER ASSISTANCE (Microsoft >.>)?!?!?!?!?  American made video games…  American made comic books…  o.O.  Not made in china computers…  (Cheap companies ruin the economy [cooperate tax o.o;; ]?!  Lol, by lowering the price by giving the jobs to foreign countries o.o;;. “We make our own problems” lol)

Using those American goods…

More exports than imports (Higher income than spending = saving money =O ).

And more to come…

Other Idea…

United States gives all of its estate to Bob (AKA USA Junior) creates the exact same country with the same name in the same place and USA declares bankruptcy!  Do to the fact that Bob now owns all of the things that USA had, USA can no longer pay off it’s debts, and there is nothing for the debt collectors to take, due to the fact that Bob had no relations to USA, and its belongs are now untouchable and Bob is debt free while USA Senior has horrible world credit!  Greatest swindle plan ever.  Or maybe countries don’t work like that…

Idea from crazed American (not me…)

Blow up China.  Why?  Cause then we wouldn’t have to pay them back (but wouldn’t that start nuclear war and the end of the world?).

Note: This stuff isn’t serious…  (Or maybe it is?!)

So, last night I went to the RAFT (Robotics at Florida Tech) meeting, and they’re cracking down to participate in a competition where the participants build a submarine like ROV (Remote Operated Vehicle).  We were looking at the costs of parts and the paper work needed to be filled out for the competition (we need to ask the school for funding, all while trying to get everything set for the competition).  When they saw the things need, the first thing I heard was “WE DON’T NEED THE 200 POINTS!!!”  I immediately looked for what they were talking about (cause I was playing on my computer waiting for a friend to sign online), apparently 200 points of the competition is documents (Technical papers on what you built, why you build it that way etc, a poster, flyers, and some other stuff).  Immediately the club president had the ultimate solution, “We just need to get four girls to join!”  I wanted to burst out laughing, because that’s what most clubs think or say as a solution to everything, “We need more members!”, “Well, if we just got a few hot girls to join, guys would join not even caring what the clubs about.”  (The documents is because guys “are bad (really we just hate to)” write up documents, while girls are amazing at it [probably because girls are naturally more organized than guys (most of the time)]).  So this comes to the first rule of running a club (and probably the only rule that most people follow):

• Get girl(s) to join!  They attract male members to force into [slave] labor, attract other females (women travel in packs… like wolves!), and are good at doing paper work (so make them secretaries and managers)

Another thing to get members and keep a club from dying, is have activities.  In robotics, they build robots, in ACM they had game parties and visits to EA, in paintball they play paintball, in chess, they play chess and have a ranking system of members (this was back in middle and elementary school).  Worse come to worse, have club meetings in cool places!  Who doesn’t want to go out to the beach and tan eating grilled foods talking about [insert club interest here]?  That brings up the second rule:

• Do fun stuff

This next part I guess is a sub-rule to rule one, but get funding!  If you don’t know how much you need, look at what you’re planning to do, write it up, come up with what you need (girls are well organized and good money spenders at estimating costs).  Think of events, think of supplies need for those, when, why, people don’t throw money at something and expect nothing (unless you’re uber rich and can do that).  So rule three is:

• Money. money, money, so get funding, and know how much you need to ask for.

And that’s pretty much the main parts of running a club from what I’ve seen, other than have a President, VP, Secretary, Treasurer, Secretary of Defense, and a banana boy.

My comments on this…  First off, men (which I sadly fall under the category) have one tracked minds, girls give purpose, reason, and are needed for all types of events (Does football really need cheerleaders?  Not really, but it draws attention, like high school pep rallies, do you get excited for a bunch of guys jumping and screaming?  No, only girls can do that [jump up and down screaming making people excited]).  Secondly, clubs can be about anything, but if they do something of the common interest [video games] more people show up than you knew were in the club.  Next thing I noticed is most men are womanizers (very sad, pisses me off, but true), when I show up to a club meeting, I don’t want to hear a guy talk about how he can’t donate blood cause he’s been with an African American girl (what the heck does that have to do with donating blood anyways?  I think it was just an attention thing), or about how he can’t be friends with girls cause he just happens to find a bed anywhere he goes (yes…  Macy’s home goods has premade beds, but they’re not for testing), or about how he doesn’t know Asian girls cause he “has never had Asian.”  From this, I conclude, that if I ever have a daughter, she is wearing a mask, a huge sweater, baggy pants, gloves, rain boots, and a paper bag, her whole life!  Cause I do not want men/boys like that trying to hit on her!  I don’t know what the issue is, if every guy has a jerk-hole gene in them and just some broke theirs or have “self-control” (< very good to have), but in all honesty, people have feelings, people are people, don’t use them.  Also, (so I’m not only bashing my own gender) women also need to slow down a bit.  If you know a guy is a bad guy (or have someone trying to tell you he’s a bad guy) then he’s a bad guy!  If he’s dating you, and four other girls, maybe, you’ should get out of that.  Also, I’ve been told some girls go into a relationship knowing they’re being used, because they’re curious x.x, well curiosity killed the cat, and got a monkey stuck with a man in a funny yellow had (oh you try acting like you don’t know what’s going on there, but you do!).  If everyone was honest about their intentions, then things would definitely work out better, instead of saying “I love you.”  Tell the person what you really want to say, “I want to get in your pants”, “I’m only dating you just to have fun”, “I want you to buy me clothes”, “I thought you’d look good to show off to friends”, “No one else would talk to me”, “I’m trying to sleep with 40 women before the end of the year”, “I’m looking to settle down, and I’d like to be with you for the rest of my life”, “I need you and I hope you need me too”, “You’re a good cook”, “I love you.”  If everyone was honest with what they were expecting, then things would be better I think, we could put this into political issues instead of “I want our nations to be good friends in this tough time”, how about, “Please save my ass”, “I’m hoping for cheaper oil”, “Your women are hotter than ours, we wish to import”, “I’m only friends with you in hopes of being friends with [enter country here]”, “I really believe that our nations together can better the world”, stop with all the lying, when talking to the public “We are doing the best to rescue the economy”, how about, “Dang dudes… You’re screwed”, “Find a dumpster fast”, “I hope you poop money”, “This will only work if everyone does what I say.”  Stop lying!  Tell the truth, that’s all there is, why is lying a sin?  Cause it screws everyone over.  Say what you mean, only if you mean it.  Love is suppose to be unconditional, meaning no conditions required!  If it’s conditional, state you conditions!  “I love you, as long as you do my laundry [or other required task].”  In all honesty jerk guys, and jerk girls, lying and saying crap they don’t mean is breaking good people!  You are ruining people, the potential they had, and are ruining the lives they could have had!  You are taking people who are discovering themselves, and basically calling them worthless trash with what you are doing to them.  So stop it, back off, and if you hurt someone I care about, I’ll kill you, or severely hospitalize you, and that’s not a threat, it’s a promise, so stop screwing around.

Next thought, a company can fire employees that don’t do their job, correct?  Then who’s there to manage the higher ups?  It’s a crime to embezzle a company right?  Then aren’t all these companies that are going out of business with all their executives embezzling money?  I mean, if every loses everything, but the executive, then I believe that something is wrong.  And AIG, announcing a bonus for their executives after they get bailout money from the government a form of embezzlement?  “To steal or misappropriate money that one has been trusted with” – Definition.  To me, that means, if a group of people come out filthy rich from their company (or the company they work for) going out of business, or whatever, they are embezzling money.  “Well I made the money,”  well, people put money into your stocks in hopes of it going higher, meaning, they trusted you with their money, and you failed them by handling the money wrong.  People pay for your product, and it isn’t what you say it was, you were given money for a service, but failed to provide it, you’re managing money wrong.  Misappropriate – “To use something wrongly.”  That doesn’t just mean, taking the money and running, that means, putting money in the wrong areas.  People believe that the government shouldn’t mess with businesses and stuff, and that’s why we’re a capitalist nation, and by stepping out and giving bailout money to a company we are stepping on socialism, and if they can’t handle doing what they need to do with that money, then maybe the government needs to take it a step further, and make the company do what they have to do (zomg!  Communism!  The company no longer is privately owned, but owned by the state, which in America is controlled by the people for the people!).  Even though people are against communism, in drastic times calls for drastic measures, and people need to start doing what they say they’re doing, or we need to appoint a “Secretary of Snitching” who will go out and snitch on companies failing at their jobs, because they are embezzling money (which we can see actually means “To screw up with money”). 

Random thought, if it costs too much to kill a prisoner on death row, I believe we need to bring back gladiator games.  It will be cheaper, most cost effective, and entertaining for the masses that go see it (humans are naturally attracted to violence, so they will come!).  This will also help stimulate the economy somehow with the circulation of money to somewhere, getting sponsorships for prison teams (“Death Row Prisoner DJ McPhillin wears Nike’s and loves to listen to his iPod as he runs through slaughtering the other team with his Sword specially made by Sony”).  I also think it would be interesting to see what an executive who caused hundreds of people to be jobless and steal millions of dollars would do against a psycho cereal killed in the arena (but that might just be me).

FFSM

Son: “I’m going to have a baby sister?”
Father: “Yes, and we’re getting her a sweater she will never take off!”
Son: “Can I get a sweater?”
Father: “No…”